The words "friend" and "free" come from the same root word, suggesting that one aspect of friendship is the freedom to be ourselves in the company of another person. "A friend," said Ralph Waldo Emerson, "is a person with whom I may be sincere." Most friendships begin with shared interests or activities, which gradually develop into mutual trust, openness, affection, and loyalty.
We like people who are similar to ourselves, who share our attitudes and values. When someone agrees with us, or makes the same choices we do, we gain confidence in our own views. Proximity can also influence our choice of friends, be they co-workers or neighbors. Most of us tend to enjoy the companionship of people of the same economic status and level of education. As we become older and our experience grows, our expectations of friendship change.
Sometimes we find ourselves attracted to people who are different and who can provide us with a fresh perspective. A very reserved person and an uninhibited person can often complement each other; one friend gains a sense of stability while the other achieves spontaneity. Yet, for the relationship to endure, the "opposite" friends may still need a common bond, and perhaps find it in a shared activity or sense of humor.
Friends can help fill other needs -- for self-esteem or for reaching one's potential. When friends share an altrustic goal, such as a concern for justice or the cultivation of the arts, they are fulfilling Aristotle's description of "friendship of virtue."
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